How To Be Single

Love, science says, therapy

If the word single reminds you of the number one, or an old sitcom from the 90’s, or a hot new Beyonce track then this post is not for you.
For the rest of us:
If the word single sounds like a metaphorical probation officer strapping your ankle with a bracelet of how in the hell do you portion a meal for one, piling the other side of the bed high with pillows so that sleep doesn’t feel so hollow and the constant impasse of dragging yourself out in public alone, again, then have a seat, let’s talk.

Singledom… singlehood … is a spectrum really. There are all kinds of ways to be single, maybe it’s working for you maybe it’s not. Single feels to me like skinny dipping on a pitch black night all alone. I’m not quite sure if it’s wholly exhilarating or if it feels like I might accidentally crack my head open on a rock and bleed to death right there next to the dock, fishermen stumbling over my corpse in the morning. (I thought about being less dramatic in that illustration, but it’s actually pretty accurate.)

Where ever you fall on the single spectrum here’s some advice, from a professional.

 

Step 1: Take Care of Yourself-

This means so many things. At the very least you need to maintain the status quo of standard of living, attention to hygiene, time in nature, amount of exercise that you were gifting yourself while you were still in a relationship. Derailing into a bowl of pity soup is not helpful. It is helpful to increase your self care from the tinniest things to the big ones. Those things are quite literally the antidote to depression. Think you’re above becoming depressed, well you’re wrong. Also, take some fish oil, it can’t hurt.

 

Step 2: Put Out the Word that You’re Single-

but also that you have a black belt in Karate and a ferocious guard dog. Your people might know their people. Seriously.

Gone are the days of the small hunter and gather community where one moment you’re gathering sticks for the fire and the next moment Fred Flintstone comes over and clubs you over the head drags you back to his cave and has his way with you. Not that any of us are upset about that. But what I’m tryin’ to say is that humans have not evolved to comprehend solitude. Our psyche, our physical bodies, our hormonal bodies were not wired for you to sit your ass on the couch and binge watch Game of Thrones every weekend. Neither can we make any sense of Tinder, isolation, self-loathing or the sinking sense of hope inching further and further away on a physiological level.

All of that is to say, do not allow yourself to be alone all of the time. Put some thing exciting on your calendar and…

 

Step 3: Go Out in Public-

Maybe your goal isn’t even to get into another relationship. That’s totally fine, great even. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t seek human contact. We are social creatures, surely you know that. Every single thing about life that matters in the end are the relationships that we created at this phenomenal meeting of place and time. Don’t miss a single day of the opportunity to be you in relationship. It’s the why.

 

Step 4: Make Friends Above All Else-

The wind might blow South one day and that guy or gal that you were ‘talking’ to, might just fade away. All of those pieces of yourself that you hooked into them, because you were grappling and any hand up would do. Those just get ripped out. And it will be fine, but it will be just you again. Well you and your friends. Make sure they’re there first.

 

There’s more, I’m just figuring those parts out still.

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For you: The Moon

pretty things, science says, soulfood

I took Astronomy one summer.
I would read one line of text
then blankly attempt to defragment my existence
in the off-white texture of cheap rental walls.

A black hole rang in my ear,
the accelerating universe numbed my tongue.
String theory. Gravitational lensing. What’s a quasar again?

As it turns out there are 146 moons in our solar system.
Yet, somehow I am just now getting to know one.

To appreciate the agony of the scorpio moon,
to release and recite my intentions on the full.
The harvest moon, the blood moon, the waxing moon.
My moon and I,  we’ll call it complicated.

In all of those years did I ever look up and think
I’ve only ever seen the near side of that moon?
That in just one thousands year’s time the earth
tethered the moon into a promenade of tidal lock
earth always taking the lead.

I, mere mortal, gawked at the crescent moon
a crisp smile in the belly of the whole
with it’s same whole face
accommodating the shadow and shine of it’s host rock
and molten star
with no reverence for my mood or ambition.

I believed like you that the phase of a moon
from new to newer took 29 days.
Oh contraire mocked the stars
try 27 days, aren’t you wise
aren’t you waxed and wained.
We’ll call you simple.

 

 

 

The Fear of Change

create, science says, social awareness, your body

Good golly. I really can’t say this in a brief way.

In a nutshell: I’ve been studying Existential Therapy and Carl Jung before that and have essentially called to question every single aspect of my reality in the past three weeks. (Which is not separate from LIFE that keeps happening to me…. that I keep attracting/creating). Part of this process has been creating art work that explains the concepts. What a beautiful challenge.

So yesterday I realized that social media is a giant crutch/addiction/detriment to my self-actualization so I’m on a indefinite Facebook hiatus. And then I started looking at the WHYs behind my use of Instagram because I don’t want to give that up aka I’m extremely resistant to that change and wasn’t sure if it was even something that I wanted to potentially ever put on the cutting block.

Long story short my response was to create a new Instagram called @reallifereg that only has pictures from my trash bins. This was a huge wakeup call about my own lingering body image issues and self depreciating beliefs about my own appearance plus called into question the WHY was that picture not good enough. I explain in each caption why I chose to delete the photo.


I created a one image representation of all of this :

____________________________________________________________

Here’s the more polished explanation with references if you wanna geek out:

My piece is the most succinct visual representation of a rather convoluted but powerful experience that I had considering James Bugental’s contribution to existential psychotherapy. In Corey’s explanation of Bugental’s approach to resistance on page 144 he shares that, “Forms of resistance include intellectualizing, being argumentative, always seeking to please, and any other life-limiting pattern.” I have been processing that one line for over a week because of my constant employment of those tactics that I had never viewed as self-limiting before.

After researching Bugental’s explanation of resistance which included reading a powerful article entitled, A Fate Worst Than Death: The Fear of Changing (1984) I sat with why I am resistant to a career change. That boiled down to perfectionism and always seeking to please. From there I explored all of the myriad of ways that I am a perfectionist and what that means to my self actualization as well as my short and long term goals. This lead to re-evaluating my use of social media, specifically the visual perfection that I have curated on Instagram that serves my public persona but does absolutely nothing for my internal self.

After deleting my Facebook account I created a new public Instagram feed that has only has pictures that I had previously deleted found in my trash bin on my phone. In each caption I wrote the reason why I chose not to post the photo and delete it. In this very revealing exercise I realized that so many of my deleted pictures were “selfies” and how intertwined those deletions were with my ego, being self-conscious, old patterns of body dysmorphia and a general malaise with the changes in my face as the result of aging. The large piece that I printed encapsulates that entire process of self-exploration in one image. Referencing a time in my life where I was extensively studying anatomy and had a very different relationship to all bodies, mine included. My piece is an ode to a real, non-resistant, surrendered acceptance of my self entirely and the necessity to be honest about that process.

hello

science says, soulfood

Saturday drew to a long tenuous close
it sang out a clear piercing
know thy self,
look inside.

Sunday awoke, journeyed, arrived
welcomed, Om, Namaste
meditation, clarity
a pretty little bow.

I pleaded, “Take me away”.
She answered, “No, stay”.
“Grow”.
Sunday howled, let go.

Monday pattered at the glass
I countered— groan.
My hips held tight,
my soul curled into Q.

The daylight peeked out and said
listen.
Do you hear?
Say hello, it’s intuition.

The night fell
my open, closed, origami
out of whack, tattered,
let it be, tied in a bow soul
screamed back, “But it hurts”.

And Monday night whispered
firmly
practice.

Energy. To Be A Teen Again

science says, soulfood, your body

I accidentally stopped writing here and started ranting to my professors.
I’ll leave this here for when I need reminded that overdrive is not a fulfilling existence.

Response: Brainstorm, The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain

I am just three years out side of adolescence and I’ve launched a search party to find my true self- my ESSENCE. This has looked like spiritual exploration, ravaging self-help books, therapy and meditation. All of these efforts to tap back into the ‘me’ that I was when I was sixteen years old. Before this book I had mostly felt like the exception to the “tortured emotional floundering” of adolescence. I loved my early years of adolescence. (The later ones looked an awful lot like adulthood in my opinion.) I had a robust social network, I had a very sure sense of myself, I was confident, filled with hope and aspirations, I was in love, I was a practicing artist and I was free. I have always held those years close as a magical time and a place that I would like to get back to.

It turns out not to be magic but instead to be biology and evolution. Funny how at the root of all psychology, especially human development, are the adaptations that we cemented in place over millions of years of evolving. According to Siegel’s acronym I was deeply fulfilled by each letter: emotional spark, social engagement, novelty and creative exploration. It turns out I was living the upside of this formula.

Depending on the season of your life each reader will take something out of the book, which is pretty wonderful. For me at this juncture in time I’m piecing together how to make many of his skills and information serve me as an adult. There’s some solace in knowing that my dopamine levels are more regular than they once were, that the appeal of statistically life threatening risk is waning. Mostly, because I escaped those years with out any real devastation or addictions. I did walk away witch a wealth of knowledge and a few reminders that bless me in new ways each year.

I did appreciate that he develops the practice of Mindsight over the chapters. Mindsight is a set of skills that help you integrate your brain. Adolescence is all about increasing your neural integration, which is how one coordinates and balances the internal world of others and ourselves (Siegel, p. 54). This is possible when the individual parties comprising a relationship are allowed to be, “Unique and specialized yet linked” (Siegel p.53). Essentially this is how on both an individual and global scale we can foster flourishing social connection and meaningful relationships from the intimate to the casual. Integration brings harmony.

The term harmony keeps popping up everywhere for me like a big flag screaming THIS! HERE!. Each time I stop and think yes, that’s the goal figure out how to get that. The embodiment of harmony has felt really distant and elusive as of late. I feel that Siegel’s take on integration is a good framework that I can fill in with personal practices in to help me grow highly functioning, supportive, challenging, social bonds and networks. Later in the book he explains how belonging to a bonded peer group has literally meant life or death over the millennium of human existence. At the end of the day we can’t lose sight of the fact that we are animals straddling the constructions of modern society. I will add Mindsight to my mystical toolbox of resources as I seek peace and contentment in this wild Western world.

The most striking part of this book was something so simple, “All thoughts and feelings are energy” (Siegel, p. 46). It’s so obvious but so abstract during the course of a normal day. In a modern Western context I think that we have confused the term energy. We associate it with being tired, with needing to eat; we’ve simplified it to something purely physiological. We often miss that the laws of physics apply to all energy including that of our own production. Energy can never be created or destroyed, just transformed. I often find physics the most esoteric experience.

Siegel explains that at its core the mind regulates the body’s energy. Duh. But, we commonly get bogged down in the functions of each structure and don’t heed the big picture. That our brains are working on a macro and micro scale to keep not only keep us alive but to very complexly conduct a higher level of thought and function not the least of which is emotional.

I have personally been expending way too much energy in the anecdotal sense since the first of the year. I’ve been stressed, consumed in rumination over ultimately trivial interactions. This past weekend with the help of this book I really had to take some time to evaluate how carelessly that I was expending my energy. Seigel’s explanation of attention as how we direct the flow of information and a relationship as sharing energy and information flow couldn’t have been better timed (Siegel, p.45-53). I think that like people, information comes into your life with some destiny. This text on the teenage experience was incredibly applicable to my current adult existence. I agree with Siegel that there is good reason for us communally and as individual adults to strive to get back to this highly experiential exciting sense of life, ESSENCE is a very powerful model.

GMO babies

organ donation, science says, your body

GMO babies (coming to a nursery near you)!

I either want one that looks exactly like me, talks exactly like me and acts exactly like me (okay so fine I want a clone but I want it to be a snuggly baby first) or I want some really beautiful exotic looking daughter that has a French accent, knows how to roll cigarettes and talks like a walking thesaurus. Can they make that in embryo? I bet if I spent enough time and money in China I could get top seed on the hot female geniuses list (that’s real, click here).

Were you so busy reading about the pregnant manager of a Texas Popeye’s that got fired after being robbed at gun point that you missed that this month Chinese scientists genetically altered embryo DNA!

I really can’t decide how I feel.

I mean I’ll take my margherita pizza sans the GMO tomatoes and I’m not so hip on selective abortions but designer babies? Hmm.

Here’s the thing the possibility that in a reasonable time that we would be able to eradicate all kinds of rare horrible genetic diseases. Have you ever spent any time researching blood diseases, like the one that these scientists were targeting in their experiments? It’s a shitty life. Being born and existing anywhere under any circumstances with  a life altering chronic medical condition sucks. Period. Yes, you can preserver. Yes, with the right support team, medical innovation and amount of money you can have a externally normal life. But really, wouldn’t it be nice if we live in a world free of cystic fibrosis, tay-saches disease, sickle cell anemia, hemophilia and swiss cheese cartilage dysplasia (that’s a real thing) amongst others.

I feel like were back to the anti-vac-ers debate where we have to pull out horrid images of mumps and polio to remind people that science makes our human lives far superior to what it was 5 to 100 years ago. Seriously.

The scientific community, humanitarians, ethicists, people using their brains for anything other than reality tv everywhere are flipping the fuck out.

Why? There’s an unwritten code amongst scientists that you don’t fuck with real human DNA. Multiple scientific organizations released statements condoning such activities (it’s research). Their reasoning, we’re not ready. We haven’t flushed through all of the moral debates. We’re playing God.

Here’s my issue. On the micro scale-

1- These scientists were using a new technology that has made DNA altercation far more precise than ever before.
2- They used inviable embryos that wouldn’t survive if introduced to a womb as a way to wart off ethical debate.
3- They are experiementing. This is how science works. Someone has to rock the g-damn boat. Even if that boat is called human life.

On a macro scale-
I really understand not wanting to open the lets go messing with human DNA can of worms. Sure there may be (okay there are) mad scientist and no actual Superman. But, like all kinds of medical technology we have to put some blind trust in the morality of scientist. Butttttt then again there’s animal testing.

Speaking of animal testing. If we’re so high and mighty about the sacredness of human DNA maybe we should exercise a little more humanity towards the 125,000 primates prisoned, tortured and murdered in US laboratories every year.Those are actually born, living, feeling, breathing, emotional creatures that are in my opinion much more sacred than unviable human embryos.

Mostly my defense of this kind of highly controversial research (experimentation). Is not that far from my defense of stem cell research. We are willing to go to all of these extreme lengths to keep those of us who are living alive. Including, taking a beating heart out of a brain dead body performing a four hour surgery that literally costs 1.2 million dollars over the first year. All so that we can keep smoking cigarettes, eating cheeseburgers and/or find a work around for defects genetic or otherwise that occurred at no fault of the patient. Over 2,000 of these are performed in the United States every year.

I wonder if those patients spend an amount of time commensurate with the amount of science, innovation and unprecedented research that lead to this magical procedure that save thousands of people from desperate life ending situations every year considering the morality of the procedure that they jump through crazy hoops to get. A heart transplant is just one example.

My counter to this argument is that there’s a sliver of my heart that longs for all of the good, smart, funny, innovative people on this planet to pass some sort of standardized test that says you get to move to this sustainable utopia where we have eliminated the concept of linear modern time and industrial farming. We (clearly I would be one of the chosen people) will now all live a simple life full of nutrients, nature and rewarding work. Plus we get to keep all of our apple products, wifi and modern plumbing. That’s only reasonable. In this world we would all die at reasonable life expectancies probably around 40. You could get stitches and some kind of herbal salve for your boil but no major pharmaceuticals. No genetic manipulation. No life saving procedures in the 11th hour. No emergency c-sections. So yep, most of us would be dead. Or soon to be dead.

I’ll refer to your high school debate team for the discussion on Eugenics. If it happens before you are born is it immoral?

We all want what we can’t have (with out medical intervention or drastic lifestyle reform) a long happy, healthy life for us and our children. What are we willing to sacrifice for the cause? The unwritten code amongst scientist that somethings are off limits? I’m ready to go there. Maybe we should cling to the last spontaneous elements of nature but then we should also be willing to watch those people die off without overextending a decent and reasonable amount of medical care. Are you ready to flush your pills? Skip your elective surgery? Pass on the amniocentesis testing?

Call me crazy but I find the criticism of genetic manipulation hypocritical or soon to be.

The worst thing in the whole world happened to me

domestication, science says, your body

*ALERT: this may be highly unsettling. You may feel like we’re way too close after this read. Proceed with caution.*

___________________________________________________________

Well technically has been happening to me for the past three days. I got my period.

Are you aware of what a period is. Your uterus sluffs off its outer lining and shoves it down your vaginal canal and all the way through your cervix and out of your (my) vagina. Sick huh. YEAH TELL ME ABOUT IT. Well me and every other woman in the world.

A year and a half ago I got this bitter sweet little chunk of medical grade plastic and 52 mg of levonorgestrel were *placed* on the dark side of my cervix.

mirena

There she is.
Today J asked me if I took that little thingy off. I mean, yeah, it is basically like a pair of socks. I just wear it according to my outfits 🙂

Full disclosure, deciding to get an IUD was a complex decision for me. I read all of the medical literature. Read far too many first hand accounts of horror stories that google had to offer. Watched many a video chronicles of women’s Mirena experience (yeah that’s a thing). I also did that thing that everyone tells you to do, consult your doctor. Granted my OBGYN is the man of my dreams and I would blindly follow him into the dark, he was objective but reassuring. Over 2 million American women have these in their lady bits right this moment. Here’s an informative article that give all of the nitty gritty details on the FDA registered complaints on the Mirena.

I’m not going to pretend for a moment that having this damn thing has been a particularly pleasant experience. It turns out that I have a retroverted uterus and so could you 🙂 . Between 1 and 3-5 women have one. It only means that instead of tilting slightly forward (as is the norm) it tilts backwards. I learned this fun fact when Dr. McDreamy was elbows deep in my vaginal canal trying to install my hardware. It was absolutely excruciating. I say this as someone who’s got a seriously high pain threshold. I’ve never had a medical professional apologize so profusely before in my life, even that one time that they almost let me baby die (that sounded shitty, I’m not actually pointing fingers, medical issues happen but so does medical negligence).

uterus

Here’s a cute and cuddly version of how your uterus could be angled, I wish mine looked like balloon animals instead of reality. Brace yo self.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

This is the super cleaned up version, it’s a lot more blood and guts in real life. What a cute pink elephant we house.

Normally it just feels like a “pinch” and some cramping so they say. Mine was really bad. They gave me a prescription for painkillers after. That’s not protocol. It was really painful for a few weeks. They had me come back in for a sonogram to make sure that the little trucker was going to stay put. It did. Well mostly. I’m not certain that it has actually ever really been in there right. None of us were certain that I was a ‘good candidate’ for it in the first place. But once I commit to something being shoved through my cervix I’d like to keep it around for a while. The last case of that is six years old and shows no signs of going anywhere for quite some time.

Here’s the rub. [Now this is a personal account. Plenty of women have rather delightful experiences with their IUD’s.]

Cons:
-It hurt like a mo’ fo’.

-I bleed for a really long time. May, June and half of July. That’s not normal. But, hey I’m a giver.

-It feels like there’s a really big nose sticking out from my cervix, more so than a normal cervix. It has been referred to as a picket fence. Who want’s my number now??? Huh? No takers, weird.

– The first 7 months of having this thing was absolute hell. My hormones were out of control. I was a total emotional roller coaster every day. Think like the week before your period but always. Yeah, that’s not good for anyones mental health.

–  I can feel that little bugger. Sometimes when I sit funny, or you know just randomly something gives me a little poke just to remind me that infertility comes at a cost.

Pros:

-It was free (my insurance paid for it), shout out to healthcare reform. Turns out that full coverage of contraceptives is one of the best things that have happened to American women in quite some time.

-I’m baby free (well except for the preexisting child). That’s no added perk. That’s the point. For 5 years I can let it rain spermatozoa and look at that no fertilized eggs. Ohhhhh sweet sweet science.

-If I decided today that I want to have a baby and continued to think that was a good idea until the soonest appointment with my gyno to take it out I could do so. In a couple of months I could welcome bouncing baby Heikes part 2 into this world. Probably—- our fertility isn’t guaranteed I know this, but mine could use some curbing so I’m good with the risks.
-This amamammamammmmmazing thing happened almost a year ago. I never got another period. Sure there were plenty of semi-terified moments of ohhhh shiz what if I’m pregnant. Then the ensuing google searches of entropic pregnancies. That’s an ugly set of hypothetical circumstances. It just turns out that I’m one of the 20% of women who stop having their period after the first year. (That’s a conservative estimate, because a high percentage of Mirena users have it removed in the first year…. see the con’s list).

– Major pro all of the skrilla that I’ve saved in the past year on ‘feminine products’. Seriously, it’s no small chunk of change. It’s probably close to $200 on tampons alone. Plus all of the acetometiphine that stayed on the shelf. And the wine and chocolate. Those are real health related expeinces when you want to kill everyone and your uterus feels like it’s being stabbed a million times a day for 5 days straight. That’s a real thing.

I imagine that it looks a little something like this in there:
uterus2

Well until this week.  The bear and the sword are back. Please don’t stay long, no one likes you.

Google said to me today: “2/3 of women are interested in stopping their period.” No shit. Count me in.

Wannna get high?

science says, social awareness

Oh so many things to talk about and so little time (which may be because I spent the majority of my ‘free internet’ time today reading about Hello Kitty and ergonomically designed toothbrushes… brushi? Someone please the plural of brush stat.)

Santa Fe just got one step closer to heaven, I mean it was already knocking at it’s door as of yesterday. *More on how this place takes my breath away every single day*.

EXTRA EXTRA: The Santa Fe City Council voted yesterday 5 to 4 to decriminalize marijuana in Santa Fe.

For most of the day I heard second hand accounts of the ruling. I need the dets people. I heard all of the things from, “I think it was the whole state” to a really great story about a dude who blatantly passed a roach to a cop in California. “Next time in the great state of NM his ticket would only be $15”.

I feel like the basic, who, what, when and why need to be definitively addressed. So I pulled out my best researcher stops (the reputable Albuquerque Journal, the voice of a generation the dailychronic.net and to my credit the Brookings Institute) to bring you this solidified information:

Multiple sources said that the petition collected 10,000 signatures. Which apparently they did, but only 5,754 of them were legitimate city of Santa Fe registered voters. Can we take a moment to reflect on the importance of participating in your local government. You have a little voice and one of the best ways to exercise it is to drag your ass to the polls (yes in November every 4 years) and all of the little times in between. But please inform yourself or at least base the politicians off of there campaign propaganda, you can spot a douche from a mile away especially when their face is plastered to a billboard being driven around town on a fleet of F-150’s.

 ABQ journal as of Monday (currently refers to prior to Wednesday night’s vote),

“Currently in Santa Fe, first-time offenders in possession of less than an ounce of marijuana are charged with a petty misdemeanor punishable by a fine of $50 to $100 and imprisonment of not more than 15 days. The proposal calls for possession to be treated as a civil infraction, requiring no jail time and punishable by a fine of no more than $25.

State and federal law would be unaffected by the change, if it were approved. Police officers would have discretion as to whether to charge violations under a city ordinance, handled in municipal court, or under state statute, adjudicated in magistrate court.

However, the petition called for possession of small amounts of marijuana and instruments used to ingest it to be considered “a lowest law enforcement priority.”

Here’s the actual current situation, from the Santa Fe Reporter,

“The resolution, passed narrowly on a 5-4 vote, changes the city’s penalties for possessing one ounce of marijuana or less and marijuana-related paraphernalia from a criminal misdemeanor punishable by a $50-$100 fine and up to 15 days in prison to a civil infraction and a $25 fee. It also instructs the city’s police officers to treat possession of small amounts of marijuana as the lowest law enforcement priority.”

Some things to note: this is only for the City of Santa Fe. What happens when you take your dime bag out of the city limits is anyone’s guess. Okay, not anyones, defer back to the state of New Mexico’s law. You probs won’t do hard time for 15 days but then again crazier things have happened in our fair state.

PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO ABOUT MURDERS BY ALBUQUERQUE POLICE OFFICERS. 26 MURDERS IN 4 YEARS

You may need a decriminalized bowl to swallow that and the other current happenings of those in our country sworn to protect and serve. I found this little gem in the literature from our City Commissioner:

“Trujillo was the most vocal opponent of decriminalization, asking “What’s next?” saying it might be an ounce of meth or cocaine. “I’ve seen what’s happened to so many people,” he said.”

Is this still the War on Drugs, D.A.R.E. inspired fear mongering that weed is a gateway drug? I don’t have any new arguments to present as to why this dude is a flipping idiot, pretty sure that science and psychology have debunked that one long ago. Being informed with facts is hard…. just kidding there’s this really cool thing where you just type what ever you want to know into your computer and then you read. Yes, there’s a lot of BS out there, you have to be discerning but you’ll be damned there is this thing called published, peer reviewed credible research. You should give it a whirl, it’s good fun.

In other pot related news, because who can really get enough to it. Weed is great for your marriage. Well, at least you’ll be less likely to exchange black eyes over who’s going to do the dishes tonight. Plus you’ll probably be much more amused with each other. Kara Brown from Jezebel made this delicious point, “That’s something to keep in mind the next time racists try to argue that marijuana turned a black person into a violent aggressor.” Food for thought. Please chew thoroughly, there’s no better time than now to think. 

p.s.
Here’s the rub on legalizing marijuana in NM, it’s pretty grim. I also read some hilarious stuff about how New Mexico’s biggest drug trafficking problem is coming from the North instead of those heathen Mexican drug smugglers. It’s only slightly harder to throw stones when it’s your own good ‘ol Americans that are turning a profit on one of America’s favorite past times. At least the legal system from the floor up are keeping their jobs and their dockets loaded.

p.s.s.
This is why Washington is a super rad state reason number 10000000, as if you need another. Shix I know, let’s pack our bags.

*Photocredit: found this little guy in the mountains, despite the appetizing color and my love for pushing my consciousness I resisted eating it well because I use this thing called common sense Mr. Trujillo. But, ‘aint it pretty.

wild life

science says, silly goose

My friend Erin Brown wrote this lovely post about her recent experience with snakes. I just tucked that notion away for a rainy day..or ya know for the next time that I ran into a snake or bear and needed to find some inner peace to keep me from shipping my pants right then and there. (For real though, her post is beautiful, mine is ridiculous). Speaking of bears, here’s a fun story about how I live in the land of bears. And up until today when I heard real life stories about bears trying to come into Santa Fe homes I was really into crossing paths with a bear cub I thought it might go a little something like Blueberries for Sal and less like home invasion wild giant hungry animal edition. So dream ruined.

Back to my parallel Erin story. I keep running into fish. Well fish on the internet, fish in stories, the remnants of the fish formerly known as fishy fish fish fish.  The other day Julius and I were reading about Pacu fish that apparently have an appetite for human testicles….. well until further googling discredited the myth. But those teeth tho. Shizzz. I’ve never been so glad to have internal gonads.

fuuucchhhkkkkk teeth

Pacu, he must be British.

bad-teeth-tony-blairEvidence: Tony Blair.

This morning I was reading about the giant grouper, just a potentially 9 foot long 900 pound devourer of all things that I never even heard of before.

grouper                          Grouper it’s what’s for dinner.

15veraDesigner hand bag anyone? Or do you just want to make out? (Yes, I’m going to hell)

Maybe we should have covered this somewhere along to lines of avoid sting rays, jelly fish, sharks and GIANT FLIPPING SHARK EATING FISH. This isn’t the best video but the audio is priceless. Check out the youtube clip of a shark being eaten.

“I bet you 1000 million zillion ohh I don’t know. I bet the shark was like his day is fracked up already, it can’t get any worse.” 

Long story short. All of these fish run ins must mean one thing:

“Fish is a symbol of fertility, eternity, creativity, femininity, good luck, happiness, knowledge and transformation. In Christianity, it is said the fish is a symbol of abundance and faith as observed in the Biblical story of fishes and loaves. Pagan traditions recognize the fish as a feminine symbol of fertility and an attribute of the Goddess.”

I am a goddess, hear me roar.

Fukang sweet!

science says

Isn’t that stained glass piece beautiful. Surprise! It’s the Fukang Meteorite. Found in Fukang China in 2000, by a villager who apparently sat on it many times while eating lunch during hikes. One day he decided to chisel into to it to find out what was inside of the “rock” and damn son. Just a 4.5 billion year old wonder made of peridot crystals (My birth stone, so naturally you should probably buy me a hunk of this for my bday, you’ve got 4 days to rustle up a nice stack of cash for the purchase) and olivine a type of metal.  It originally weighed over 2,000 pounds before being divided up and sold. It is nearly as old as the earth and is so rare because it could only come from the center of a meteor.

 

Apparently Kansas is a swell place to dig these up. The biggest a 1,4000 pound Pallasite was dug up in 2005 in South West KS. Who wants to go hunting?