We’re a Little Obsessed With Our Elf

create, Ever Sophia, Love


December 1, 2013 is a day to remember,
For it’s the first time we met our newest family member.

Declared by Ever, Snowey shall be his name,
Quickly we learned of his love for games.

That little mischievous elf, all day sits in the house,
Eavesdropping for Santa while being quiet as a mouse.

Then as all of the humans fall fast asleep,
Snowey dashes off with out a peep.

To the North Pole to frolic with his playmates,
Sipping hot chocolate, singing and gliding on ice skates.

With Santa he stays for just a little while,
For the sun is rising and he owes a little girl a smile.

Back to the house, quick as a whip,
He pulls off a little trick and then listens in for Saint Nick.

During his second year here,
This is where we found him as daylight grew near.

1His first night back, he arrived on a trusty steed. Ever missed him a lot.


Julius was slow to Snowey’s game, he thought that Ever’s mom left this note for him. Foolishly he rewrote the message I ❤ U. Snowey didn’t have time to fix it before the little one found it. Ohh well it’ll do.


Clearly the work of a human. But he is right, Snowey does love you.


Snowey was feeling extra rambunctious this night. He stayed on the tee-peed tree all day.


He made a winter wonderland, out of powder (flour) and brought Ever a little Christmas tree to keep.


Business meeting? Conspiracy? Poker tournament? We’re hoping that the Buddah kept this evening of debauchery under control.


That silly guy climbed up on Ever’s window chime and hung around with a little monkey all day.


After school we came home and Snowy and the cat were in the midst of a battle royale with all of the toy dogs in the house. He was riding the statue of Friday like a horse. He even made a little sword.

11     13 Not to be defeated the next morning the dogs got their revenge and locked Snowey into a container.


Phewwww, it was about time for Snowey to take a bath, he was still covered in flour from his silly night making snow angels. He brought Ever little snowman and santa shaped bubble baths.


Ever wasn’t too happy about this night that Snowey crossed her name off of her stocking and put his name on it. She had put up a special Snowey stocking just for him, but I guess her’s seemed nicer.


Today while we were at work and school Snowey had a little fun playing trains. Ever gave him a lecture about sitting in unsafe places, silly Snowey is too big for toy trains.



Only 9 more days of having Snowey around, we sure do miss you while you’re gone. It’s been fun little buddy.

_________________________________________________________________________ We’re really into the Elf on the Shelf if you didn’t notice. In fact I have a hard time touching him when I have to move him. I don’t want for him to lose his magic on account of me.

The other night I thought it would be fun for us to watch the DVD that he came with. I was quickly informed that we no longer had the DVD. Where it went? The little (slightly older) neighbor kids weren’t buying that Ever actually had a magic elf. So she gave them the movie,

“So, that they could believe”.

This is seriously the best part of Christmas.

*A completely unpaid endorsement for Elf on a Shelf


What I told my 6 year old about Ferguson

Ever Sophia, social awareness

It feels cheap to call it Ferguson. This could just as easily been titled what I told my 6 year old about Michael Brown. About racism in our country. About police murders. About hatred. You have to settle on #something.

Last night, as I did dishes the grand jury ruling came rolling in. Alone, I took in the news. Tried to figure out how I was going to synthesize that information to my two sleeping life mates. When J woke up, he reached for his laptop to check.
“You’re not going to be surprised”.
That’s all. He can read.

Now what to say to my littlest love. To her B is for ball and W for window. Black and white are colors. “People are shades of brown, actually.”

I’ve taken in a lot of information in the past 24 hours. I could read the Ferguson Docs for days as so many journalists are doing as we speak. I’ve read both sides of the story. I’ve listened to commentary and live news feeds. I’ve seen the tip of the iceberg and I’ve seen enough.

I debated about explaining any of this to Ever at all. Granted she is very much in tune to adult happenings. But mostly on the level of do I get cookies out of this? If so when? If not then can we make some sort of cookie arrangement. In short the world revolves around her. That’s life at 6.

I was torn. Part of me wants to let my baby hold on to the innocence of youth for as long as she can. But a bigger part of me knows that it is my duty as her parent to expose her to the array of human rights issues. To teach her tolerance. To be an example of peace and love. To teach her to be informed, to be a free thinker, to question everything.

So I waited until we were in bed. I got my computer, opened youtube queued up “I Have A Dream” and put it as succinctly and gently as I could.

“Today was a very important day Ever. Something very sad happened.”
“What happened Mama?”
“A boy was murdered and a lot of people are very upset about it.”
“What does murder mean?” — Right.
“It means someone was killed.” — Wow this got really dark. The darkness is unavoidable.
“A police man murdered the boy.” She said something to the effect of police men being good and nice.
“Most police men are good and nice, they want to help us. This was one police man that did something bad.” — How do you navigate this?
I can’t instill a distrust of police all together in her at the age of 6. Maybe if she were any thing other than a little white girl I would have to. Hum.

“Some people don’t like other people because of their skin color. It’s a very bad thing that happens and we’re trying to make that stop.”

At some point there was an interjection about,
“Is Julius going to be with one of the police that don’t like him?”.
That was a quick mathematics exercise. I profusely reassured her, no.

All of these horrendous acts are hitting way to close to home as it is. I can’t let my mind go there especially given the statistics in my own backyard. As of October 31st the Albuquerque police department subjected to monitoring and was partially disband after a Federal investigation into the outrageous number of police brutality cases. Right outside of my front door you are liable to be murder by a police officer if you’re homeless, mentally ill, a person of any color or even another police officer. So, no. I can’t let myself entertain that. It’s entirely too real. (Check out this post about the unsung murders by the ABQ PD).

I spared her the gritty details. I have no intentions of terrifying her, because that’s what it is. Instead I pushed play, Dr.King said it best.

And then:

Because every time it gives me chills.

We talked about how 1963 was when grandma was just a tiny baby. “Where is she, I don’t see her”. –Okay, well, I’m trying.
She asked me who every single person in the audience is,
“I’m not sure, they are people that gathered to support everyone loving each other”.

“I think that’s an ice-cream man”. –She’s brilliant but she’s just 6.
We talked about the idea of civil rights. We talked about how we are still working on it.

Then we watched this:

Because I wanted to remember a time when my president was full of passion. I wanted to remember a time not so long ago when I thought that the page just may turn. I wanted to remember when we all had HOPE.

Ev hasn’t really said anything about it since. I’m not dragging it out (with her, for you well it feels forced to talk about anything else). But I sure in the hell won’t tip toe around it.

In the most bizarre twist of the night, she made this impromtu arrangement on our bedside table. It was a surprise for J and I.


I couldn’t have made that up if I tried.

Flowers by her own arranging, an alarm clock, a police badge, one fallen yellow flower, a picture of her with a black ribbon tied around it and a Free State glass. That’s the most pertinent set of found objects that any one of us could have complied last night.

Ever Sophia at 6

domestication, Ever Sophia, Love


When Ev was little-r I used to write down funny things that she said, words that she knew, what she could do new that year (she’s running, she’s running really fast….. dang kid slow wait for your moms). I don’t do that as much anymore, so here’s a list on my

BABY’S S-I-X-T-H birthday.


-She likes to make films of herself where she delves into social politics and says things like, “leave a comment and don’t forget to like my page”. Seriously.

-She can reach everything. That candy that I stashed behind everything on top of the counters, yup eaten. Ice cubes out of the freezer, check. Clothes out of the dryer, no prob.

ev cuteeLife size and oh so fashionable.

-She reads. She made a library of all of her little school paper books and reads them to me. She’s also mastered the ‘ol classic New Hat Old Hat.

-She’s legitimately starting to tell time. Well at least time in reference to when her BOYFRIEND gets home. “It’s 5:00 Mom, yes huh, I can see it on the clock”. Well damn.

Photo on 8-9-14 at 12.42 PM #2

-Yup she has a boyfriend. Well a little boy that she absolutely adores and likewise. One of my absolute favorite moments of my entire life was a month ago or so when James and her first kindled their little love.
I went to pick her up from his house and they both threw giant tantrums because, “Does Ever have to go home now?”, as he stands barricading the door. She was drug out of his apartment. As we approached the car little tinny freckled James yells of the balcony straight from a Shakespearean play, “I love you Ever and I promise to never let you down.”
I heckled Julius about how chivalry is dead and it takes a 5 year old boy to make that crystal clear.Then Ev so humbly asserted from the back seat,
“I didn’t understand anything that he said”.
Love falls on deaf ears, as is life.

jamesThis was the night that I had to make an emergency grocery store trip for hotdogs and macaroni because, “I promised him”.

-She can count to 35, well technically she can get most of the way to 50 but for some reason 36 and 37 are tricky little buggers.

-She wants a real life -one that really drives- barbie jeep. She seriously needs this in order to be able to drive herself around places. “I already know how to drive”. She’s going to start driving it to school but she isn’t sure where she will park it, the bike rack won’t do. The parking lot is a little risky. We’re working out those details but driving down a 6 lane highway and making multiple left hand turns ‘aint no thing.

-She is a dancer. She sings little riddles about arabesque and tendue. She taps in the kitchen. She is the most attentive little ballerina. She comes home singing the most distorted version of “Oh! Susanna” that I’ve ever heard. It’s nothing short of adorable.

-She has all of her own ideas. She thinks that her approach is the best approach and somehow she survives under the same roof as me. That’s an accomplishment.


-This year she flew for the first time. Walked in a sea of hot air balloons. Lost more teeth than I can count (I’m thinking 4). Graduated pre-school. Quickly attained teacher’s pet. Grew to be 4 feet tall. Got accidentally tricked into riding her first roller coaster and then refused to ever ride a real one again. Learned to swim with out her life jacket. Infected everyone big and small with her charm and enthusiasm for life.  She remembered every single detail of everything and won’t let me forget any of them. She tucked heart break into her pocket and marched on more strong and brave than any 5 year old should ever have to be. She grew.

teefThat was 2 teeth ago.

-Yet, she still curls up on my lap when she’s sleepy and if I’m real lucky just little times in between. She hugs me and gives the sweetest little kisses (save those for your mama little one). Some Saturday mornings when I’m rushing out the door she calls me back in just to say that she loves me. She’ll begrudgingly give me the last gulp of her water and sings me bed time songs now. I too am half crazy over the love of you.


It’s been pain, sunny days and rain baby bear. Life without you is unfathomable.
You are incredible. Mama loves you.