All of the comments that I didn’t leave on Facebook today, in paragraph format.

silly goose

I’m back from my-life-was-in-shambles-and-I-couldn’t-make-coherent thoughts-much-less-write-something-entertaining-hiatus. Get excited.
But here’s the new problem. I’ve got all of this pent up nonsensical commentary and I don’t know how to moderate it. So, I’m going to just gonna lay it on ya, here’s what Facebook made me think today:

Lawrence Kids– technically adults that chose to behave like children: Jesus H Christ. Can we all just stop having the I’m the biggest hipster competition and the other half of you can stop acting like you’re hardened criminals. PLEASE.

Seconds first. Here’s the thing. You are from Lawrence Fucking Kansas. You did not grow up in the ghetto, maybe a trailer park, but not the ghetto. I grew up in that town just about as poor as possible and wasn’t emotionally wrecked by it. I was young and unsupervised, it wasn’t scary or traumatizing, sorry gigs up dude. Yes, the effects of poverty, socioeconomics, race and opportunity are vast and varied. But, you grew up and live in a beautiful place full of tons of initiatives and people that will bend over absolutely backwards to keep your life out of the gutter. Stop making that CHOICE.

Despite a few very gruesome murders in that town as of late (da fuck?) being part of a “violent culture” is of your own making and choosing. Fuck your street code. Fuck your “you don’t know me’s”. Fuck all of the things that you are doing that makes you feel like a big tough strong man because we all know you. You are from a small privileged place in this world. Do not expend your energy creating a parallel existence full of hatred, crime and being a ‘thug’. It’s not cute and you’re fooling any one, plus your mama is embarrassed.

And now the other half. Seriously I have watched the internet devolution of way to many of you normal nuclear family having, higher educated Lawrencians dive head first down the hipster tunnel, so hard that you broke your neck. (“Hey babe, what’s the opposite of evolution…… Christianity?” That’s real life. but really I’m pretty sure devolution isn’t a word, but I do what I want 🙂 )

hipster lawrence
The issue isn’t all of you boys wearing skinny jeans and Toms it’s the ones of you that decided that you are so incredibly beyond the main stream that you’ve chosen to be a homeless drug addicted drunk. You’ve utilized your exceptional free public education all over card board signs making quippy references to how your homeless and proud now please don’t pity me but give me your change….

Well fuck you. Being homeless is real, over 2,600 people in Lawrence are homeless. That includes an ever increasing number of single women with babies and children that have no where to go. Veterans. Mentally ill people. People who have fallen on extremely hard times and have no other options.  People that are not 20-something year old males that are “lost” in life and decided that living on the street or being a “traveler” was more exciting than working a minimum wage job. Maybe you’re right. But you know what isn’t that exciting. Hepatitis A, B or C. Being a drain on a way over stretched social welfare system and charities that are dedicated to helping those in need. It’s not amusing that you went to rehab. I don’t think that your mug shot is humorous profile pic. It’s fucking sad. You are fucking sad. Be better. The world doesn’t owe you shit and you’re not a victim. You choose this life be accountable.

In other news: 

Facebook: What the face?

I don’t appreciate it when you haven’t gone all Taylor Swift lyrics about your break up and more so about your DIVORCE! Seriously. Your lack of antics is really killing my social media stalking. And you know I like to be in the loop. It really takes a lot of time out of my day when all of the sudden up pops a picture of you and Joey…? Joey? What happened to Bill. I swear to god that you were just MARRIED to Bill. But now it’s all Merry Christmas from Joey, the dogs and I. I feel like you owe all of your vaguely friends (me) the courtesy of at least some documentation of the break up and the acquisition of a new significant other. I mean we’ll take an instagram pic, a slightly referential meme or heaven forbid a publicized Facebook relationship status. Throw us a bone 🙂

Yesterday, in real life, I was eavesdropping on two people discussing a project at a coffee shop. The older gentleman was on a rant about how “kids these days”… yup my 75 year old grandpa is on Facebook… think that their relationships on the Facebook are real.

Uh, well now I’ve got to disagree. They are real. They are different than conventional let’s meet at the local pub relationships. But social media relationships look like all sorts of different things to different people. Let’s not chalk the whole thing up to a fantasy land. Is it a lens into the lives that we wouldn’t normally be privy to? Yes. Is it a forum for people to share the array of their human existence with each other for better or for worse? I think so. Is it detrimental? Maybe. Is it entertainment? I think so. Is it a way for the world to feel smaller? For us to share information? Is it a way for the lonely to feel connected? Heard? Is it a real connection? A real community? I would argue yes.

To be honest I wish that we all still lived in small villages. I’m nostalgic for a time and place where I/we felt like we belonged to the physical place that we live. That’s fleeting. Is it the fault of the internet? Is social media a reaction to urbanization? Is it a side effect? I don’t know.

One day when I’m not so lazy and already don’t have 50 tabs open full of things to read I’ll cite some real research on the power of social connection even when it’s not in person. Until then you can disagree, I guess.

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